The latest - three weeks in

Today was the first day of week four with young master J.  And the last three weeks have been eye-opening. 

In training, they told us that often kiddos come into the home with - shall we say - non-traditional vocabulary.  And it's true.  J occasionally busts out with a "Hell, no!" (or as he says it "Hay-ul, no!").  My response tends to be, "Buddy, that's not a word we like to use.  You can just say 'no.'"  To which he always says, "No!"  (Once, I said, "No, what?" because he hadn't said it in response to anything I'd said, and he said, "I don't know.")  Last week, Monday was a tough day for the kid, and he said "mother f-er" under his breath a couple of times.  It wasn't specifically directed at me (though one time I wasn't really sure), and I really think mostly a response to just having a bad day.  But this morning, as we're walking into Vacation Bible School, he looked around at all the kids and said, "Jesus Christ!"  It was hard not to laugh out loud.  Nephew #2 was with me as we dropped J off, and when I said, "Well, we only say Jesus' name when we're praying," responded with, "Yeah, that's why I don't say 'oh my God.'" Right.

He's really a good little guy.  Sweet.  Cheerful.  Suprisingly polite.  But, you know.  Three. Living with that - the questions and the energy and the repetition - has been a challenge, I'm not going to lie.  But it's getting better.  I'm learning to let go of my, frankly, adult expectations for a 3yo.  I'm learning that telling a kid that age something once ain't gonna cut it in terms of long term results.  I'm learning that if you're going to watch a video multiple times The Incredibles wins over Shark Tale by a mile.  And I'm learning that I'm not nearly as "patient" and "easy going" a person as I thought I was. 

J's had a couple of visits with parents.  I wasn't sure how he'd react, but so far so good.  After a full day with mom (the first four hours - supervised) and dad (the second four hours - unsupervised), he was cheerful, if exhausted when I picked him up.  We moved straight into our supper/bath/bedtime routine and he was out like a light pretty much the minute he hit the pillow.  I'd been concerned about the full day of visits because the first visit with dad (mom wasn't allowed at that point), he'd had a hard time sleeping, waking up crying several times during the night.  But then, he'd only just been placed with me at that point, so even "home" wasn't familiar or safe for him at that point.  He seems to get that he's safe here, and I'm thankful for that.  When we were talking about the next round of visits - again with mom in the morning and dad in the afternoon - he said, "And then at night I'll be with you."  I think the routine is so helpful for him.

Some additional thoughts:
--I'm much less likely to respond favorably to "I want milk!" repeated multiple times than "Give me kisses!"
--It's pretty cute to hear a 3yo say, "It's OK Peodore, J's here" while awkwardly patting a wary cat (named Theodore).
--We're working on potty training.  There's been a some regression since J arrived.  It's not always easy NOT to give in to the frustration when there's a dirty diaper not 15 minutes after we spend 5 minutes sitting on the potty.  But I also don't want to press him too hard.  He was very concerned about my being mad when he had accidents when he first arrived, hiding under the bed when he did.  He's not doing that any more and he's almost stopped asking me if I'm mad when I change him.  I'm offering candy bribes for peeing and special toy bribes for pooping.  So far, he's gotten some M&Ms.  We're still working on the toy.

OK.  I think I'm done for the moment.  :)

Love.